I should make a big confess.

I should make a big confess.
Every decision in everything and every detail add up to who you are. I never expect I am a perfect person, because I know I will never be a perfect person. Especially when I loose self-guidance, it will be extremely hard for me to transform to how Jesus looks like.

To make my life easier and simpler is what I am pursuing all the time. I never welcome complicated relations, life style and feelings. Now it seems that I am trying to delve myself in to complexity. Such complexity leads to unstopped complaining, self-concerning and neglecting others feelings. The reason that I was so happy is that I always know what I want and always do not care anything trivial. The most cherished thing in my life is how I feel and how Jesus feels about me. However, for the past two months, I have no reason not to disgust myself. Too be good to others is what I want to do all the time. This should not be influenced by how others treat me. Who you are is not decided by others but by me. I forgot about this. Also I should not expect everybody is perfect. I should know when to stop.

Luckily, I did not go too far. The self-consciousness left saved me. Otherwise, I do not know how much I will lose.